Jumping

It has been 26 days since my last blog...I think.

A lot has happened between then and now. A lot of paths have been placed before me. All are scary, because they take me to difficult trails leading to giant cliffs that I have to jump from. All take me different places and will mold me into different things. I am afraid to take any of them in fear of failure...in fear of not being able to support a family later on. What I am losing sight of is that God is there all the time through every tough decision...just waiting patiently for me to place my faith in Him and know that He is bigger than this life...that causes me so much heartache.

Why has life become so difficult? Have I lost sight of who has control of it? Where has my faith gone?

I mean, I at this moment I have the words to a famous children's song running through my head..."He's got the whole world in His hands"... but I do not listen and believe it obviously.

The point is I have to grow up...stop being wishy washy... make a choice for my life and stick with it. I have to jump and know that He is there....stop being a wimp and just do something.

Life always is going to have its dark days where we must lean hard into our faith in Him... where we can't see the light at the end...where we feel that the world has beaten us...

I guess this is one of mine. I just have to jump...

P-ractice!!

Well I am back playing drums and practice was last night. I was a little rusty but every one was glad to see me back, which made me feel good. It is good to feel needed/"loved" no matter who you are. It was gruelling though. I forgot how much work lugging drums around actually was....but it is all good. It felt good to play again.

It felt good to sit down and talk with the guys during devotional. We threw some junk on the table and we were pretty honest with each other for the purpose of trying to get a hold on teamwork and becoming more "professional" but never losing our "love" for one another. That "love" is what holds a team together no matter how big or small it is. But what does that "love" look like?
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I was thinking about the lyrics to one of the songs we are doing..."we were meant to live for so much more...but we lost ourselves". This song has been sort of... no... it has been an anthem for my life lately. I am realizing this more and more everyday. I am meant to live for something bigger and somewhere along my path the past several years I have gotten lost and it is more evident here lately.

God is Amazing though and He is constantly working and showing me new things. He is constantly molding me even when I do not see. I am stoked for what He has in store for my life...I am half scared and half excited about the challenges He has already put in my path. He could not have provided a better person to walk along side me, and help me through all of it, than Jo Lynn...I can not wait to see what He has planned for our journey together. I love her like crazy glue yo she is the most amazing girl I know !! ;)

We were meant to live for so much more...think about that!